That Sinking Feeling

Wow. It's been a long while. So much has happened over the last year. Things that I will admit I haven't wanted to speak about out loud and things I haven't wanted too many people to actually know about.

But it's time.

Christmas time has now become a time of the year that I don't like. It brings with it all those lovely family feels, but for me it now brings sadness. It marks the time when my marriage ended. Yes ended.

Last year I had to come to terms with this, which was one of the toughest things that I have had to do. I started work at a new school, I watched as my husband moved out and moved on, and had to cope with my own broken heart but also keep it together and stay strong for my two beautiful children. I think that I have managed to cope in each of those aspects. I have kept myself strong and my broken heart has mended and my children are happy.

I will be forever grateful for the beautiful souls who I could vent to last year when I was at my worst- 4 people in particular who I am in debt too and will never be able to repay them for lending their shoulders and ears to me last year.

Last year I managed to get myself into a really good head space. I was really happy. I was happy being single and being a single mum. Yes it hurt having to smooth the boys when they missed their daddy, or when I had to hear about him and his new life. But in saying that, I was happy with where I was. I had proven to myself that I am a strong woman and that I can cope.

This year I made the decision to go on leave and move myself and the boys closer to my family. Yes it was a tough decision but it is one I believe is for the best. I have family and a support network should I need it, which is something I didn't have last year.

I've been enjoying my time off, and not having to plan lessons and deal with all the stress. But in saying that, I have found myself incredibly bored! I am the type of person who likes to be busy and likes to have something to do. And even though I'm looking after the boys I feel like I need to be doing more.

And I have found myself in the last couple of days feeling as though I am really alone and really lonely. Yes I have friends and family and the boys around me, but this is different. I feel like I have no one. I don't have that one person who is there for me, who looks out for me and looks after me.

For so long I have been the one who looks after everyone else. But for just once, I would really like someone who looks after me! I noticed these feelings even more when I realised that apart from my family and my close friends I don't have a special person who would be worrying about me if anything happened to me- that thought scared me!

And I know that to some it just sounds like I'm whining, but it's not like that. Everyone deserves to have someone, why not me?

So in saying that, thank you to everyone who has kept me sane and shown me love. There really are so many of you that I know care and as I said I'm forever grateful.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

This will be my year. Good things are coming.

X

Catching Up

It's been quite a while since I last posted something. A lot has happened in that time.

Last time I write was just after I was diagnosed with PND, I am happy to report that I'm almost better. Although I now think I'm starting to show signs of Anxiety, so looks like it'll be back to the doctors and more medication of some sort.

I have had a massive year, it's safe to say that I've grown and learnt a lot about myself in that time.

I joined a beautiful group of ladies in Brisbane for the Miss Muddy obstacle course. An amazing weekend, long and expensive, but so much fun!! I got my first tattoo that weekend too. Safe to say I now want another!

I continued on with my fitness and weight loss journey, and while I'm yet to reach my original goals I'm happy with where I ended up. Next year will be bigger and better.

The biggest news out of this year though would be that I got a teacher transfer and moved back to Rockhampton, closer to family, which hopefully will be better for us in the long run. But we will see. I start work towards the end of next month so for now will be enjoying some much needed r'n'r.

My oldest baby starts school next year! :( I cannot believe that he's old enough to be going to school! It feels like just yesterday that he was born! Needless to say next year is going to be a big one!

I had to say goodbye to some amazing students and teacher friends over the last few weeks. And I'll admit, even though I'm literally just down the road, I already miss them. Next year will be difficult without them! :(

So thanks to everyone for helping me get through the last 6 months!

Until next time!

S. X

I have been struggling a lot lately, with a lot of things.  Work, home, exercise, food, myself.  It's been building up quite a lot, and I finally think that I need to get it all off my chest.

Around about week 6 of last school term, right before I went away for a school trip, I had possibly one of the worst weeks.  I was moody, tired, upset easily, anxious.  I was stressed about absolutely everything.  I was able to chat about my feelings and felt a lot better, and slowly I felt like I was okay.  Then over the last 2 weeks of the school term, my two baby boys, at different times, were ill - they had a gastro virus, a nasty cold and of course they shared with me.  Needless to say, I had almost 2 full weeks off from school dealing with illnesses.  During this time, I began to feel like home was where I should be most of the time.

I soldiered on with juggling my sick children, and attempting to write supers, collect assessment and make sure all students had completed and handed in their assessment items.  I think that my students were starting to hate the fact that I was absent as well.

Over the break, and possibly during the process of marking 5 classes worth of assessment, and seeing that some of what I was marking was from what felt carelessness and students who didn't care.  This made me angry.  I had put in a lot of time and effort to ensure that students would be able to complete assessment to a good to high standard.  It made me feel like crap and like what I was doing clearly wasn't worth it.

From there, my whole attitude felt like it changed.  I job, the job that I had always wanted to have - teacher - now didn't seem that interesting.   I hated the thought of it.

I have continued to struggle through at work, knowing that I feel 'wrong' and not doing anything about it, constantly putting it off.

Dealing with challenging students, and feeling like all I can think about is work. Wanting to just sleep and not do anything when I get home. Losing my interest in boot camp, shopping, relaxing at home. Not feeling like I'm all there in a pleasant frame of mind for all of my boys. Feeling worthless.

All of this is how I was starting to feel and to be honest, I really feel like I'm just going through the motions.

Today however, I had a meltdown. It was the kick I needed. I was sent home. I went to the doctor and put everything out on the table.

Post natal depression.

The doctor has confirmed it.

At least now I can get treatment and can finally start to get better.

So why am I writing about this? Why do I feel the need to share?

It's an issue that not many people know about or like to ignore. There are people I know who I want to share my story with. I'm coming to terms with this.

Thankfully I have lots of supportive people in my life, and I truly am grateful for this.

For now though, I'm going to spend some time resting and looking after myself.

Thanks all,

S x

Slow and Steady

So, I'm slowly getting back into it.

Last time I said I was determined to get stuck into this weight loss thing, and I'm happy to report that I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things!

Last week I went and rejoined the gym, had a basic assessment (weight and measurements) and had a basic program written up.  I also made an honest attempt to eat 'healthier'.

My nutrition is an area that will always be a struggle for me, but I'm trying my best.  I will admit to having a couple of take out meals, but when I have I have tried to get the healthiest option on the menu - a wrap that has salad in it, a massive side salad etc. 

I've been making salads with salmon/fish for lunch and surprisingly I find it yummy (I'm not a salad person).  Dinner's have been okay, I haven't really changed too much in this department as we have always cooked fairly healthy dinner meals, I've just got to work on portion control.  And breakfast, well for me that's fairly easy - baked beans/poached eggs on multigrain/rye bread or porridge.

This week I started hitting the gym.  Admittedly it was only 3 times, but that's a fairly good effort for someone who is well and truly overweight and very unfit.  I did a TBT class (tummy, butt, thighs), and will admit that it did hurt, I'm looking forward to the next one!  I did my weights program, and definitely felt the burn, will have to see if hubby can give me an alternative weights program to do to mix things up a bit!  And this morning I went for a Cardio Step class that was changed into a Crossfit/Circuit class - I worked my butt off and was so exhausted at the end of the class I wasn't sure if I would be able to get myself home or if I was going to throw up! 

I'm proud of myself for forcing myself to actually get up, get dressed in my gym clothes and for making myself go to the gym!

I haven't lost any weight yet, but I'm not going to let that get to me.  It's been a really slow reintroduction to exercise, so I'm not going to let myself be disappointed by the no weight loss.

Next week is a new week and I'm looking forward to five days of workouts!

X

Past the Barrier

Motivation.

What is it?
Where do you find it?
How do you keep it?

This is perhaps the biggest challenge that I seem to be facing at the moment.  Finding the motivation that I need to get my butt into those gym clothes and get outside to exercise.  It's frustrating me so much, I'm motivated to do all sorts of other things, but for some reason the one thing that I know will help me get where I want to be is missing.

Excuses.

"I'll do it tomorrow"
"Next week"
"Ah, I'm not starting til next week, oh well"
"It's too hot"
"I'm too tired"

That seems to be one of my biggest problems.  How do you overcome that?  I have to get into my own head and stop them.

I must admit though, that I'm enjoying being a mummy and being at home.  For the first time in a long while I feel all 'wifey' doing all the cooking and cleaning around the place.  It's refreshing.  The only thing I'm missing is that motivation to get rid of my baby weight.

I'm normally a very determined person, who, when my mind is made up, will go until I've achieved what I had set out to do. 

Frustration.

Perhaps the best word that I could use to describe how I feeling.

I know in my own head/heart that the last few weeks I've continuously said, 'I'll start that on Monday'.  This time though, I'm very serious.  Monday it all starts!  Bring it!

This time I WILL make myself get out there and exercise.
I WILL eat the right foods.
I WILL stop making excuses.
I WILL find my motivation.
I WILL set myself on the right path...

More to come...

XX

Time to Start the Loss

Wow! What an eventful time I have been having!  Baby number 2 is here and is almost 2 months old, growing well and developing into a happy and healthy baby boy.

I've been enjoying time off work, and I must say that yes it's enjoyable to be at home looking after a newborn, my 4 year old boy and husband, I admit that I miss getting up and going to work each day.  All going well I should be returning to work at the start of next year.

But getting down to business, my weight.  I have decided to document my weight loss following baby#2.

Before I got pregnant, I was well aware that I had put on weight, but I didn't really have any motivation to do anything to lose the weight.  During the pregnancy I really packed on weight, I ran the risk of not being able to deliver my baby in the local hospital because of my weight.  I didn't get a final weight when I was pregnant, during my last weigh in I had weighed around 113kgs (me plus baby), which made me feel somewhat sad and disappointed about myself, but also really annoyed at myself for allowing this to happen.

Since baby#2 was born, I've been trying to be careful about what I eat, as I couldn't really do too much physical activity until I was given the all clear at 6 weeks.  So needless to say, for the last 7 or so weeks, I've been feeling fat, gross, ugly and disgusting (just a few adjectives).  And even though people say that I shouldn't be worrying about these things and that I don't look all that bad, I've been avoiding full length mirrors, reflections and photos, and I really hate going out in public because to me I look awful.

I know that this all might sound like I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself and making myself feel even worse by having these thoughts and feelings, but I have always been semi concerned about the way I look and now it is just amplified.

Anyway, trolling through my Facebook newsfeed one day, I came across a link to this product called 'Skinny Tea Time'.  Yes you all might say that this is yet another one of those stupid weight loss fads, I even think that.  But I figured, why not just try it.  I need to do something more than what I'm doing, and anything has to help.

Today is the first day that I have decided to try the tea.  The first lot that I had early this morning wasn't too bad, and I'm feeling pretty good having had it.  I have to have some different tea before lunch, so it will be interesting to see what it tastes like and makes me feel.  I have to drink at least 3 litres of water a day on top of the tea, which wouldn't be so bad except that it makes you pee lots (not an understatement!)!!

I have also purchased a 28 day weight loss plan that includes meal plans and recipes that I am going to start in the next couple of weeks.  I'm hoping that it will help with my food intake and improve what I'm eating.

I'm also planning on becoming best friends with my treadmill downstairs, that will be a little harder to do as I really need to force myself to do that!

Will keep you all posted over the next couple of weeks!

Skinny Tea Time



Before Photos (looking forward to changing this!)

And, I'm Back!

Okay, so it's been just a little while since I last shared any of my thoughts or happenings.  To be honest, I'm not quite sure why I've decided to do it now.

What a crazy year we have had, I cannot believe it's almost over!!

We moved to Tannum Sands and settled in really well, although we struggled for a long while with the cost of rent (it's a bit crazy here!!).  I found that I loved my job and the students that I encountered where also pretty good.  Kurt fell into a good rhythm at work and with the referees too.  Life, if I can be so bold, was awesome!

In May, we finally got married!  It was a beautiful day, but it was over before we knew it.  And to be honest, I don't remember much of it!!

I continued to enjoy my job, and Kurt moved around to a couple of different jobs - ending up pretty much where he started.  Unfortunately, he hates it, so my happy, loveable Kurt is hidden slightly.  Hopefully greater and better things are on the horizon for him though!!

We're very excited about next year!  We will be hosting a German exchange student for 6 months.  I'm looking forward to organising the bedroom for her and making it somewhere that she will hopefully feel comfortable. We can't wait to start showing her different places, and hopefully learning something from her!

I have made the impusive decision to re-enrol into my Masters of Letters course to finally finish it off next year.  It will be a challenge and will be a very full on year, but I'm sure that I will be fine - if I can survive the crazy of last year, I can do anything!

This whole year has seen me struggle quite a lot with my weight.  I just cannot seem to lose any - I have zero motivation to 'want' to lose it, which worries me a bit... it seems to just keep piling on and I feel horrible and gross!  So that's why I've decided to start writing this again.  I think, maybe if I can write down my weekly weightloss adventures, then maybe I might get somewhere...  9 days until I start the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Weightloss Challenge.

Fingers Crossed!



Kurt and I on our Wedding day



My new mantra!



I went blonde!

After stressing for 6 or so months about the rental prices, we finally got some teacher housing, luckily for us it came with a pretty sweet view!!

So until next time... Keep smiling!  And remember 'Be your own kind of Beautiful'!
xx

The What If...

Without really thinking or knowing that I'm doing it, my brain suddenly goes into over drive and just over thinks every single little thing that is going on in my life.  Take for instance, at the moment, I'm over come with thoughts - mostly bad ones - about the fact that, what if we can't get a house?  What if the real estates don't think that we will be able to afford to pay the rent down there?  What if I'm going to be homeless and living out of my car?  What if?  What if?  What if?

I'm going slightly insane thinking about all of these things.  And of course I've talked about some of them with my man, but seriously, in all honesty, I'm slightly over stressing everything - and to the people who know me best, they will know that this is just a 'Stacey' thing!

The dream house, I'm pretty sure is well and truly out of our reach - the real estate really doesn't sound too positive about that one.  One of the other houses that we applied for, well, I've heard absolutely nothing from - coincidence?  I think not!  Yesterday I stumbled across a decent sized 3 bedroom unit/townhouse for a good price, while I was trolling about on one of my favourite real estate websites.  Turned out to be a blessing as we were not required to inspect the property before applying for it, so off I went, scrambling together our applications, and putting together all of our documents, and then begging my Uncle to use his fax machine again to send the application off!  And then, today in more of my trolling, I discovered another property for a good price through the same real estate, so I called and added that to our application.  I even know that they are processing our applications as I've had a few calls from them to send some more information and to find out some more things.  So now I have my fingers crossed - not sure if it's a positive sign or not, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  I mean come on, just let me cross the house off my list!  And let me know so I can finish the applications for the removalists!

Ah so stressful!  But alas, I must make some attempt to cover that all up, push it aside and try to think about other things.  But whenever I seem to do that, I stumble across Christmas presents - and the large volume of them that I need to buy with the huge lack of money we have!  Arrrgggghhhhh!  Things just seem so screwed up at the moment.  And I know that it sounds like I'm just whinging, but really, I'm allowed to!  If anyone had/has bothered to ask me simply, 'how's things going?', or 'is everything okay?' in another form than just facebook - make it more personal if you will - they would know and understand what's really going on - and to the few people in my life at the moment who have actually taken the time to talk to me and support me through this crazy year (you know exactly who you are!!), I thank you from the bottom of my heart!  No words can describe the gratitude I have towards those people!

Yeah so, my thoughts just seem to be pouring out at the moment - which is okay I guess, it gets them out of my head at least!

Sorry to be so boring, whingy and ranty - just needed to get this out of my head!  Please give me a house!!

Til next time, with hopes of much better news! xo

Like a Big Clap of Thunder!

So, ever since I was a little kiddy, I've been terrified of thunder and lightning.  Not sure why or what it is about it that scares me, I just know that it has always been like that.  Now thanks to the insane heat that we have been experiencing of late, almost everyday for the last few days we have had some sort of storm.  Perhaps Sunday afternoons is the only one worth mentioning.  So while the storm crept up from us, I was bracing myself for it.  My little man had no idea what was about to happen and thus continued to play as per usual, my other man decided to disappear next door to 'see what was going on' leaving me all to my lonesome (he is aware of my fear!).  So I was off to a great start.  When the storm finally hit, holy cow it was crazy!  Lots of big wind and the thunder and lightning was intense!  Big flashes and even bigger claps of thunder, a few of which sounded very close to home.  As I was cowering under a blanket on the couch in the lounge room, my little man ran around the lounge room laughing at me and playing, and I could hear my other man next door carrying on each time there was a clap of thunder.  I was petrified!  To make matters worse, by the end of it, I think that I had actually started to scare my little man each time I jumped.  So when my man came home, I was practically in tears and the little man was cowering on the other couch - to get away from me!  I know, it does sound pretty pathetic coming from a 23 year old, but hey, everyone has things that they're afraid of, mine just so happens to occur when it gets really hot!  Thankfully yesterday there was only a few little rumbles of thunder and no real storm, just a bit of rain!  I'm already sort of sensing that today we may be in for another storm due to the fact that when I got out of bed at abotu 8.30am it was already disgustingly hot!

Yesterday's storm clouds rolling in!

Shananigans!

So in all the madness that was last week, I still had these thoughts in the back of my mind - what will I write about next??  And alas, as I sit here writing this, I'm still a little foggy on the 'what to write about' part!

Since our last meeting, I have secured my son a full-time spot at a daycare (thank god for that!), and am now waiting patiently to hear back from a couple of real estates about a house - that's the last thing on our list!

Now one of the awesome little 'perks' I suppose you could call it, is that I don't have to 'move' any of my own stuff, there is a company that comes and does it for me.  Now my mum told me over the weekend that I probably need to book in with them as they are really busy and will move me when they want.  So today in a bit of a panic, I went onto their website and started to fill out the information etc for the move - of course some of this is a little difficult as I don't know where my new home is and when I can move into it.  Still completely non-the-wiser about what was going on, I gave their call centre a ring to see if they could help me out and I'm seriously annoyed - the lady who spoke to me sounded so impressed and thrilled to be at work.  Everytime she spoke to me to answer a question, she spoke at me, and it was if I was really stupid.  Not at all impressed with that.  Needless to say, I still don't really know what the hell I'm doing!  All I can hope is that I have sort of done what I'm supposed to, and pray that I hear something about a house in the next couple of days!!

In saying that, what a weekend!  It seemed to be packed and very full on!

Friday night seemed pretty good, ended up having a couple of drinks with some new friends and the little man had an absolute ball running around and playing - though he didn't really like bed time which cut our night short!  Saturday was a bit better.  While my man was at work, I went out shopping with my mum, dad and little man.  Now I had to drive them to the shops as they only brought their ute down - imagine a teeny little old school Ford Fiesta - about the same age as me - with 4 of us crammed in there, funny right!! Now my parents don't often end up in the same car as the one I'm driving, so this was an experience, I think I may have freaked my dad out a little - he reminds me of a backseat driver sometimes - cause I will admit that on the odd occasion, I do have to 'plant' my foot just to get the old girl to move anywhere!  So Saturday ended up being a full on day out shopping - but there was a little bit of success - I found my wedding earrings!  Saturday night, my man and I went to a Christmas party/BBQ (well can't really call it a BBQ, as there wasn't any food cooked on the BBQ) for the refs.  I ended up getting my foot nicely scratched up thanks to the owners 2 massive dogs having a fight right in front of me!  Sunday turned out to be much the same - although I swear it was soooo hot that it felt like I was swimming in my own sweat (just to paint you a picture of just how hot I was!).  And then it was more SHOPPING!  I had a bit more success, finding the last few pieces of jewellery for the wedding!  At least that's crossed off my wedding to-do list!

Wow, so sitting here thinking that I really need to get some ideas and get my butt into gear and sort out my wedding invitations once and for all.  I have so many ideas in my head of what I want, but I just can't seem to find anything that I really like!  If you have any ideas on some artsy photos ideas that we could do for a picture of the 2 of us to use on the invites - please let me know!!

But for now, I think I'm just going to chillax and do very little.  I think that seems appropriate, given the weather!

Rollercoaster of Eventfulness

Wow!  That's all that I can say!!  The last few days have just been super crazy!

After finding out about my job last Thursday, the following night I decided, hell yes, drinks at my place - which no one joined me for! :(  I had a couple anyway, and woke up feeling really really sick - no not hungover!  I spent the day out and about with my parents, accidently left my lights on in my car and drained the battery and had to be jump started, and then witnessed my uncle do a sneak ploy and get married at his engagement party!  I was so tired by the end of this, but no sleep in on the Sunday, no we were up super early and on the road to check out job opportunities for my man and to check out the new town we would be living in.  I then stayed in an awesome, swanky hotel Sunday night - and found that I couldn't sleep!! :(  Induction for my new job was on Monday and Tuesday at the school, and I have to tell you, it was full on!!  I was tired, nervous, excited, overwhelmed, exhausted and suffering from information overload come the end of it.  But I'm relieved because at least I can start planning for my classes and I know what direction I need to head in!

I love the school I'm going to.  Everyone is just super nice, friendly and very welcoming.  I got the sense that it was like a big family opening up their arms wanting to take me in!  Love it!

Yesterday my man spent most of the day going and inspecting houses and collecting application forms.  I have to tell you that even though the rental prices are so high, doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to have an awesome house to live in - some were just a bit dodgy!  Couldn't believe it!  So now I am surrounded by a number of application forms trying to fill them out and work out exactly what I need to get photocopied etc!  Crazy times!

My man did get a job though! So happy for him!!  Well 2 jobs really!  One during the day as a parts interpreter, like he wanted, and then some after hours tow-truck driving.  He's pretty stoked about that!

So now, for the next few days I'm filling in application forms for rentals to get them in ASAP, cleaning the house - we have an inspection on Friday and I've been informed that the owners are selling so a guy is coming to do sale photos, and I will start to pack so that there's not a huge massive rush around come time for us to move!!

Yep, busy little bee!!

Love this pic that I snapped of the two of us using my iPhone App 'Instagram' at my uncles engagement-turn-wedding!

Small sneak peak at what my day entailed - let me tell you, rental applications are not 'fun' to fill out, specially when there is more than one to do!! :S

Holy Smokes!! :S

So now that I have my awesome job sorted and organised - OMG am I excited about that, my first real 'proper' job!! - we have the fun task of finding ourselves a home to live in!  EEEEEK! OMG that's a task and a half! :S

I applied for teacher housing, but there is an and I will quote "extensive waiting list", and I will be contacted next week regarding availability.  Doesn't sound too promising if you ask me!!  So I've been looking online at what's available to rent privately - now Rockyites, imagine what you're paying in rent and then add an extra $200 or so onto that and that's what we're looking at... Although in saying that, I should be able to afford it with myself and my man both working, would be a stretch, but hey what's new? We've been living off nothing for the past year or more, what would be the difference?

I did come across one house that I quite like... It sounds dreamy!  If only, but I'm pretty sure that at $600 a week my man will tell me to dream on!  But I swear it's pretty!  I want it!!  Only issue there will be finding the money to pay the bond and first 2 weeks rent... Hmm, who can I suck up too I wonder??

Plus I have the issue of trying to find something to do with Wyatt, hopefully I can sort that out relatively smoothly and cheaply... Daycare waiting lists are ridiculously large so I've been told, that could be the other big issue that we face!

But NO!! Nothing is going to rain on my super excited, extra happy and over the moon parade!!  I've done it, I really have done it!!

The Wait is Over!!!!!!

So after the year that I've had, with all the stressing, the hair pulling, the confusion and the learning, it has all paid off!

Yesterday I recieved a phone call asking if I would be interested in teaching positions in a certain area, "Absolutely" I told them, and was then asked if I would like to be considered for a position at a school that is in a pretty awesome location (a location that I was not expecting at all as I had assumed it would be very difficult to get into!), and of course my response was "YES!!".  So then, I was contacted by one of the schools Deputies and told them the names of teacher who would give me a reference, and was told that everything would be put into motion so that my future could be sorted out ASAP!  I didn't hear anymore from them yesterday and was starting to think that maybe they had found someone better then me....

But this morning, before 8am, I got the all important phone call with the official offer of the teaching position, which I gladly accepted - without hesitating!  I had of course already discussed the possibility of moving etc., with my man, and he was very happy and supportive of the idea - we have been looking for an opening to move for a while now!  So now, with my teacher housing application submitted, and my form for my Official Academic Transcript printed (I just now have to get the $16.50 together to pay for it and submit the form) so I can get it and submit a JP signed copy to the necessary places, I will have to start planning the big move!  Hopefully I hear about teacher accommodation in the next few weeks, otherwise we're going to have to fork out a lot of money to rent a house! :S

I'm so excited that I can't keep my smile off my face!!  I can't believe that after some of the crap and the tough blows that we have been dealt this year, it has finally paid off, my future is secured and I have a pretty good job to walk into next year!!

WOOHOO!!

Get-away!

So, for something to do, I decided to go away with the little man out to my parents place.  Now when I stopped to think about it, I actually hadn't been out 'home' in well over a year - that's the longest it's ever been, couldn't believe that, but when I thought about it, it has been a CRAZY year!  Between me undertaking the full time uni course, doing full-time prac and internship, huge assignments, meeting deadlines, learning new skills and things, the Big man working like crazy and starting his new job - which he loves btw (so cruisy!), and him referreeing all the time, we have literally not been able to scratch ourselves, let alone think of our little man - thankfully, he's fine and we did get to spend quality time with him (in between all the craziness!).  So it was easy to see how more than a year could have passed since I'd been out to stay at Mum and Dad's place!

Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely love going out home and spending time with my parents at their place and all that, but with no mobile phone reception - apart from the 1 bar that comes and goes, snail speed dial-up internet, a teeny tiny tv (their nice flat screen was in getting fixed up after it blew thanks to a lightning strike), and 1 tv channel (not even one of the good ones), air con in 1 room in the house (nothing in the lounge room - just a pedestal fan), after 5 days I was kind of starting to loose my mind!!!  I was a pretty good sport about it all though, managing to sweat it out and deal with watching the same kiddie movies over and over and attempting to entertain the little man even though he was hot, tired and really cranky!

My mum and I got to talking and couldn't get over the fact that everywhere else around has reception and will get digital tv and good internet, and they miss out!  It's a joke!  There's not even any incentives to live out there or any help that they can get to afford the specific things that they need to get even just normal analogue tv (my parents need to install a satellite dish so they can watch tv, which is an absolute joke!).  Their town is severely overlooked when it comes to all the new fangled technologies that they are introducing into our lives and expected to conform to!  I think it's a joke, and something does need to be done about it!  Instead of thinking up all these great amazing wizz-bang things, people need to come out to these smaller communities who can't access any of these new technologies, and just see for themselves what really works and what doesn't!!!

My rant, yep that's it for now!  I'm sitting here with all fingers, toes and legs crossed in hopes that the school I was just told about will ring me and offer me a job!!

Uneventfulness

So again not much has been happening round here.  I actually think that I'm starting to go a little stir crazy, not having anything to do and all!  Was so bored at the end of last week, I made myself go to the gym - just to get out of the house! :S

I also set about and cleaned the house making it spotless (if only that was what it looked like now!), and I set my Christmas tree up and decorated it.  Now some may say that it is bad luck to do that before the 1st of December, but I really don't care.  I needed something to do, the little man enjoyed it and what else can be thrown my way this year?

Our weekend was just as dull, I was actually really bored and begging for something to do!  I actually made us all go on a massive walk Sunday afternoon.  Not sure how far we walked, but it did take about 2 hours all up and I was sufficiently buggered after it!  If only I had the motivation to do that everyday, my weightloss mission would be so much easier!

Now I'm sitting here, thinking of things to write, watching the little man wave to The Wiggles and all the characters on the TV, and thinking that I should probably work up the energy/effort to make a start at packing a bag for myself and Wyatt... that my friends will be a story for next time!

Non-eventful!

So not much has really happened over the last couple of days!  It's been great just to laze around and chill out with my little man!  I've really missed relaxing and not having to stress about anything.

I took on the task of attempting to pack up and organise some of the stuff I had collected from school yesterday, not really sure that was a good idea, I didn't realise how much 'stuff' I had accumulated! :S  Who knew?!

My little man makes me smile almost every moment of everyday!  Love spending the extra time with him, but he does make me feel extra tired and exhausted as I don't know where he gets any of his energy from!

I will admit that the lack of things to do is actually making me go a little stir crazy!  I'm bored and it's only been 2 days!  To kill the boredom, I ventured to the gym today, just for something to do.  Now I'm exhausted and ready to pass out, but at least I killed half the day!

I did however recieve a beautiful bunch of flowers from my man on Monday to say how proud he is of me.  So sweet! Love him!!

First things First

So, I've just finished up my Uni degree, and now it turns out I have an awesomely long boring and anxious wait ahead of myself until I find out if there's a job of some description out there for me!  So to kill the time, I decided to put all of my adventures and my 'non' adventures into writing!  I have to admit that it's been a while since I just wrote for the sake of writing, but I'm really looking forward to doing just that!  And I'm hoping that by doing this, I'll at least have something to look forward to and something interesting to put my time and effort into, especially when my little man decides to drive me crazy and I need an outlet!