Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The What If...

Without really thinking or knowing that I'm doing it, my brain suddenly goes into over drive and just over thinks every single little thing that is going on in my life.  Take for instance, at the moment, I'm over come with thoughts - mostly bad ones - about the fact that, what if we can't get a house?  What if the real estates don't think that we will be able to afford to pay the rent down there?  What if I'm going to be homeless and living out of my car?  What if?  What if?  What if?

I'm going slightly insane thinking about all of these things.  And of course I've talked about some of them with my man, but seriously, in all honesty, I'm slightly over stressing everything - and to the people who know me best, they will know that this is just a 'Stacey' thing!

The dream house, I'm pretty sure is well and truly out of our reach - the real estate really doesn't sound too positive about that one.  One of the other houses that we applied for, well, I've heard absolutely nothing from - coincidence?  I think not!  Yesterday I stumbled across a decent sized 3 bedroom unit/townhouse for a good price, while I was trolling about on one of my favourite real estate websites.  Turned out to be a blessing as we were not required to inspect the property before applying for it, so off I went, scrambling together our applications, and putting together all of our documents, and then begging my Uncle to use his fax machine again to send the application off!  And then, today in more of my trolling, I discovered another property for a good price through the same real estate, so I called and added that to our application.  I even know that they are processing our applications as I've had a few calls from them to send some more information and to find out some more things.  So now I have my fingers crossed - not sure if it's a positive sign or not, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  I mean come on, just let me cross the house off my list!  And let me know so I can finish the applications for the removalists!

Ah so stressful!  But alas, I must make some attempt to cover that all up, push it aside and try to think about other things.  But whenever I seem to do that, I stumble across Christmas presents - and the large volume of them that I need to buy with the huge lack of money we have!  Arrrgggghhhhh!  Things just seem so screwed up at the moment.  And I know that it sounds like I'm just whinging, but really, I'm allowed to!  If anyone had/has bothered to ask me simply, 'how's things going?', or 'is everything okay?' in another form than just facebook - make it more personal if you will - they would know and understand what's really going on - and to the few people in my life at the moment who have actually taken the time to talk to me and support me through this crazy year (you know exactly who you are!!), I thank you from the bottom of my heart!  No words can describe the gratitude I have towards those people!

Yeah so, my thoughts just seem to be pouring out at the moment - which is okay I guess, it gets them out of my head at least!

Sorry to be so boring, whingy and ranty - just needed to get this out of my head!  Please give me a house!!

Til next time, with hopes of much better news! xo

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